As we near the end of Spring Semester, I regret to inform you that The New Small Talk has failed on its promise to replace newspapers. Perhaps that was a ridiculous promise to begin with (as was most of the original manifesto), and I hope no one was stupid enough to believe it. I have composed a list of contributors to the failure of this blog:
1. Lack of dedication -- daily updates are in fact daily. I have somewhat of a life.
2. Copyright laws -- they're a bit scary. I became afraid to steal images. I considered drawing my own in MS Paint, but I'm no artist. And I couldn't paparazzi any photos... celebs just don't come to Manassas all that often anymore.
3. Jessica Simpson -- because really, can't everything be blamed on her?
4. For the Love of Ray Jay -- I may have never made a post about it, but wasn't that just the breakout television series of the year? Danger, she smashed the homies. Anyway, perhaps I spent too much time watching that instead of writing about it.
5. The superficial is just better -- thesuperficial.com
6. Dina Lohan fell off the map. Where has this psycho been lately? It was hard to make fun of crazy moms when her and Lynne Spears went MIA.
7. Jessica Simpson -- when isn't she a hot mess? Doesn't that make the Hot Mess of the Week award useless?
I could go on forever, but what is the point? No matter the reason, The New Small Talk has failed its readers. I set out to make celebrities more tolerable, and doesn't it seem like Paris Hilton has only become more annoying since I started this blog?
We certainly didn't swiffer the nation. Our 1 person following isn't very impressive.
However, I seem to recall that the writer of the manifesto is supposed to make outrageous claims that they later disown. So, I would like to take the opportunity to disown my manifesto. From now on, I promise nothing. That way, if I decide to post something, it will be magical and completely going above and beyond what my manifesto calls for. My posts will be so infrequent that seeing a unicorn will be more likely to happen.
George,
We gave it a good run. And it was fun while it lasted. But I think this Blogger relationship should end here. You could check back from time to time, but like I stated before, I'm not making any promises that I will even still be here. Sorry.
All the best!
KP
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