Quickness.

Sheriff Leon Lott Jr. is trying to bust Michael Phelps for hitting the bong. He refuses to turn the blind eye just because someone is a celebrity. Personally, I think he is going after Michael because he is a celebrity. Is he trying to track down everyone else who used this bong? Or even the own of this bong? Maybe he could track down murderers and rapists instead. Cops, pffft.

David Beckham hates the US and wants to leave. Ok... not exactly. Who didn't see this coming? American soccer is weak. LA Galaxy or AC Milan... that isn't a hard decision. If ANY team in Europe wants Beckham, then he should pack his bags and go. He is getting old.

Lindsay Lohan's pathetic excuse for a father has decided to stop blogging. He apparently came across this blog and immediately decided to call it quits.

Scarlett Johansson tried to steal my hair color. She can't pull it off. Needs to find a colorists and go back to being a blonde.

Bret Michaels is crushing on Jennifer Anniston. What will this do to Rock Of Love? Jen should take what she can get at this point.

9 to 5 is going to be on broadway! Isn't that just fantastic?

Michelle Obama's hairstylist of 25 years will not be moving to DC to maintain Michelle's look. That's weird... I didn't think she had a stylist. If a bob is the best cut this "stylist" could come up with, then Michelle is probably better off without her.